Today's Blessing

The last several weeks have been quite a struggle for our family. A couple of months ago (has it really been that long?), we put it in an offer on a 4-plex located right next door to the house our friends are building here in the South Side. That same week we were contacted by some interested buyers regarding our house in Memphis. It all seemed perfect. Sell one house, buy another just in time, and make an income on the new property.  Not only was our offer accepted, but the bank that owns the property contacted our realtor and asked that we REDUCE our offer by $25,000 because they were worried about the appraisal.

Call me a skeptic, because, well, I am, but I am always hesitant to say 'God is doing this, that or the other' until after the fact. It just feels inauthentic to say it, because if we're honest we usually don't know exactly what God is doing. We do know that He is loving, and whatever He is doing is good, but His love and goodness are so far beyond my understanding that often I am incapable of comprehending what He is doing until He is done. So in the whole situation, my insides sort of cringed when I would start to say 'God is orchestrating this so it will all work out just so.'

Well, it has not all worked out just so. Due to some exasperating appraisal issues on the house in Memphis, we no longer have a buyer.  The house in Billings has some issues that prevent it being financed traditionally, including the need for it to be re-zoned by the city before we can secure a traditional loan. I am a controlling, ducks in a row kind of person and this situation has been one so far beyond my control it has brought me to my knees. Did I mention I also hate money? And banks? And that was before all of this nonsense. I struggle with stubborn independence, both from God and from others. Yesterday we were blessed with news about the house here beyond anything I could have asked for or imagined, and it was something I did not orchestrate, control, or manipulate. God did.

This morning at bible study we sang

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

This last month I feel like we have been to the desert place and back again, and God reminded me that in both places His love and blessing are present.  God is orchestrating our lives, and His way, though at times marked with suffering, is the best way.